You won't get it.

Even though you think you will. It's really difficult for me to even slightly express myself to you.

You're going to marry her? I don't know if I can handle this. She's not the girl for you. She uses you. She goes out to bars with other men. And you allow this. She's cheating on you. And you refuse to believe it because she tells you that she loves you. I'm sorry, Jason, but I just can't tell you this. Even though I truly believe it to be the truth.
I'm sorry.

And I know that all of my jealousy springs from her. How wonderfully pretty she is. How "sweet" and innocent she acts. How she's yours, and I'm his. I don't want to be with John. I have got to get out of here. I swear, if you had invited me to go to Dallas with you, I would have gone. We need to spend some time together, just so I can let you see what's going on.

I just wonder if all of those comments you text me are your true feelings or just something that sounds cool to say. My self esteem is shitty right now, and knowing that you're planning on marrying her... well, it's so close to me grabbing the knife. Just because I don't want to see you hurt. And I kept thinking of it last night, and how I would do anything just to see you happy. I just don't want to see you getting hurt. You're my friend. I care about you. In fact, you're the only friend I have who I don't feel is using me.
Even R only talks to me when she needs someone to listen. And for a long time there was no problem with that. But I'm working hard to become a better person. And everyone just keeps trying to pull me backwards. You're the only one pushing me forward.

I need to get away from John. If only for a few hours, I do. I wish you weren't so busy this week.









I miss you.
And I love you and always will.